I didn’t do the dishes yesterday. They’re still in the sink.

It wasn't really a big deal. I mean, it was my birthday, so I get a free pass. My husband would have done it but he had college classes until almost 10p.m. so I’ll give him a free pass too. It’s really not the end of the world.

The thing is though, and really this is a big deal for me, is that I had gone to bed with an empty sink every night since January 1st. That was 16 days of perfection when it came to dish-washing. It’s one of my least favorite chores, and historically I have never been prone to keeping up with it. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, right? I have no idea where this sudden resolve came from. It wasn’t necessarily on a list of New Year’s resolutions. It wasn’t some burning goal I had etched in stone. I just did it on January 1st, liked the way my sink looked, all shiny and empty, and decided to make it happen again on the 2nd. And the 3rd. And the 4th. It became a part of my routine. I liked that feeling of being caught up and consistent. And then, yesterday, I let it slide.

Now what?

The easy answer, you’re probably telling me, is simply, do the freaking dishes. Don’t read into this too much, just do it and be done. I know that, and I will. But what’s so interesting to me is that just yesterday morning on the way to work I was listening to Jen Hatmaker’s For the Love podcast and she was interviewing Jon Acuff, an author, speaker, and leadership expert whose work I really admire. He said some really smart things about setting and achieving goals, and how to give ourselves realistic expectations and grace when things inevitably go sidewise. Like when on day 17 you go to bed without doing the dishes.

He said, “You need to have a plan for the day after perfect.”

Basically, you need to have a plan in place for when you skip a workout or don’t read or write the number of pages you said you would. When you’re trying not to yell anymore and you went three days without yelling but you blew up on day four. When you did a morning devotional every day for 10 days straight and missed days 11 and 12. Are you going to stop altogether? Are you going to feel like a failure? Are you going to lament the (un)truth that you always do this, you always give up, and that you’re destined to never achieve your goals? Or are you going to have a mental speech prepared, peppered with honesty and grace, which says, “You know what, I missed one day. But one out of 17, that’s not bad. That’s a 94%. Solid A. Not a failure. Let’s keep going.”

Maybe some or all of this applies to you. Maybe if you have one day of making unhealthy eating choices you think you’re never going to get back on the right track again and you’re a failure. Maybe you think that if you missed one Sunday at church then you’re going to Hell. Maybe if you forgot to drink enough water yesterday you’re destined for a life of dehydration. Let’s lay down those lies and prepare ahead of time for the day after perfect. Let’s remember that bad days will happen. Let’s allow for those imperfections in advance and remember that they are an unavoidable part of life. Let’s be kind to ourselves and realistic with our goals.

Like today, I’m going to tell myself it’s okay that last night’s dishes are still in the sink, then I’m going to wash them, and finally I’m I’m going to go out for a belated birthday dinner. Tomorrow, I’ll be on the right track again, and when I miss another day in the future, the world will keep on spinning.

Do you struggle with the all or nothing mentality or the pull of perfectionism? I hope this can be an encouragement to you. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the topic.